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Dec
15th
Mon
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I’m sitting in the chair writhing in agony. A demon a minor demon, is pinning me there, fucking with my head.
“Abraxas.”
He says…
“I’m Abraxas the demon of lies and deceit.”
“So, what do you want to know about lies my dear?”
I’m not a liar, I try again to get up, this time I’m flayed, splayed. I feel myself screaming.
“I will tell you about lies. There are white lies and black lies…and many shades of grey lies, but some lies are justified. Lies told out of kindness, lies that preserve dignity…lies that spare pain. Everyone’s a liar dear. Look at them…she is about to tell her lover something patently untrue.”
“Look at their gestures, see how they touch each other too intimately, how they avert their eyes and cover their mouths. They lick their teeth and hold their chins. They embellish their stories with far too much detail.
Dec
14th
Sun
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Be beautiful

I never expected my life to have ever reached a point where I cannot control it anymore. The negatives, positives, and everything else in between. For I have much, much more to learn and experience. I take more than I give, which is changing slowly as time passes. I’ve always had the better end of life, the life that was good, and no harm could ever come to me in that way of life. I’m ready for what’s out there, whether I like it or not, I’m ready. I’m sick of being pessimistic way too often. I’m turning the tables. I’m starting over with a new place to keep. A fraction of the people in my former life will be vital to this transition, but that’s only half. I’ll meet many others down the road, but wherever I may go, please, let it be beautiful.